WARNING: this game contains: gore, eyes, meat, death, and extremely vague "if you know you know" allusions to self injury.
This also contains spoilers for onyxextamie which you can play on itch.io! Shouldn't take more than 10 minutes.
Sometimes you're lying in bed listening to a very specific album and you're hit with a very specific vision you want to create and also you were dicking around in GameMaker 2 making a glorified christmas card earlier that day so the next morning because your lexapro is actually working you hop to it.
Initially when I started I wanted the Doll's head to switch between 4 animals, a deer, a wolf, a bunny and a cat; but when I actually put the sprite in game, frankly, I hated it. So I ended up choosing the head that I thought looked creepiest with the eyes.
I learned eventually that GameMaker removed the in engine screen transitions because fuck everyone I guess. I never figured out how to make the screen fade out but could make it fade in just fine so it became a "limitations breed creativity" with the lights out pop
Actually my dumb ass might have figure out how to do it just now -- uh... so that's why it only happens on the warning page.
The vision I had while listening to music was a grotesque gory point and click art piece featuring a woman and, well, her internal organs but with a surreal twist on each of them. The screens would change like preforming an autopsy similar to how it ended up but with more obvious focus on the human body.
Believe it or not it was going to be much lighter in tone than what it ended up being lol.
Initially I was going to illustrate the body myself and it was going to be a completely normal human woman but 1. I didn't feel like drawing at the time and 2. I worried it would be a little too... morbid... for my intentions (lol x2). So in the end I settled on photobashing and animating a drawing doll with the animal head(s).
I wasn't sure how many screens I wanted to do but eventually settled on 5 around 30 hours in. I contemplated 4 for my sanity but 5 is just too good1 a round number and I have this stupid brain worm that tells me I have to make stuff like this worthwhile anyway. 5 screens isn't too much but the problem is of course... I only had 3 ideas.
The first screen to be conceptualized (but second made) was CHEST. I decided early on, for obvious reasons, I was NOT putting real human gore in my game thing so I illustrated all the human organs while referencing anatomical models.
Colour: RED
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This is the most uninteresting screen in editor.
This screen turned out almost exactly as I envisioned although the locket was a last minute addition when I felt the space under the heart was too empty.
It made the game start leaning more into the horror part if surreal horror so I ended up running with it.
It made me realize I now had a story.
(and oh my god it took me too long to figure out the BGM toggle why the hell is ELSE separated from the IF statements, no I am not learning GML)
PELVIS was actually the second screen I conceptualized but the first I made. Also came out almost exactly as I envisioned. While I was testing it i kept laughing to myself because it was really obvious I was a fan of 99rooms back in the day.
Colour: PURPLE/PINK
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This was where I learned the GameMaker is a stupid engine and point and click functions click all layer objects. Not a single google search told me how to fix this with coding like a normal engine (or community) but eventually I realized I could make a mask sprite and apply it to the objects as a valid clicking region.
You and now either kill butterflies or squish guts (ew) but not both (unless you find one of the sweet spots)
SEVERED was the screen that changed the most from the concept art. Initially it really was just a severed arm, probably twitching, with broken glass in it and whatever. but I couldn't figure out how to make that look good so I scrapped it.
Colour: DARK BLUE
The glass and birds stayed from the concept but this was where the "story" started to rear it's head.
I hope people understand what kind of story I'm trying to tell, but {shrug}
The locket was added here because there was a hole in the background sprite that I was too lazy to fix.
This screen went through so many revisions, I kind of hate it.
It was initially group photo but I changed it to just the photo of the child because I didn't want the Buck to have such a commanding pretense (It's not about him!). I knew people would be... weird... about him and take it in directions I didn't want and put more weight on him than intended so -- bye bye!
I tried a family photo and yeah, initially Cat had a daughter. I downplayed her presence too in the end for the same reason I downplayed Buck's.
The mess in the screenshot is all the leftover from the several changes lol.
This aspect really was a narrative juggling act because of how vague everything is. I think I got it how I wanted though.
THIGH was one I was not confident about at all but it became one of my favourites. This is where the self harm warning comes into play. I pulled from shit I had seen in self injury groups I lurked in when I was much younger.
Colour: ORANGE
I don't remember if I came up with the name "Onyxectamie" before or after I thought of the cat paws but it was around this time.
The title is a portmanteau of "onyxectomie", "declawing"; and "amie" "friend (feminine);
What that means is up to you.
Yeah I don't have very much to say about this one.
Last and, honestly, least is EYE. I don't like this one that much.
I worked on it last and was experiencing my usual gamedev fatigue at this point, had like... no ideas left and just wanted it out the door.
Colour: LIGHT BLUE -- BUT I BARELY FOLLOWED IT
Absolutely not my favourite. Some of those click points were removed in the process.
Initially I tried to draw the photos myself but it came out so so ugly i scrapped it and ran to Pexels again for vintage photos.
This is the most story based screen in the game and the point where I realized.... I also have no idea what was going on. It let me iron out some of the narrative struggles I was having though. I was forced to wrestle with the Buck again.
All in all the narrative was more me ironing out what I didn't want to imply over what I did.
I'm sitting here kicking my feet releasing the first proper finished "game" in possibly ever. I have a long history of casual game development but have always struggled to finish things.
I'm very happy to finally finish a small project and release it for people to see.
My successful "don't know what I'm doing" googling sessions: 2 out 17! They were: "How do you animate sprites in game?" and "How do you change your game name?"
People online are no help!
So I think I get to say I made this all by myself! I am a grown-ass woman!
I hope you enjoy clicking through onyxectamie! <3
If you read all this: Doe is named Lili, Cat is named Onyx. I decided this post-title choosing.